By Hamza Malik
Incoming semi-rant. This may or may not be controversial but I’ve been simmering on this issue for some time now. Granted, I’m no stranger to controversy so here goes…
It’s not a habit of mine to broadcast what I do in my personal life or where I happened to go on what particular day. Nor is this post in line with the type of content I typically tend to post. This time however, I wanted to share something that I felt warranted some attention and serious introspection. As a disclaimer, this is regarding the Muslim community and aimed at the Muslim community. If this doesn’t apply to you, happily ignore.
This past Sunday, I attended a fundraising dinner hosted by the NISA Helpline. For those who don’t know, the NISA Helpline is a non-profit organization that seeks to provide anonymous, free, social and faith-based counselling to self-identified Muslim women across North America, facing a myriad of struggles and hurdles in their life, ranging from emotional and sexual abuse to mental health issues to substance abuse, depression and even suicide prevention.
The event ran well. The keynote talks and appeals to donate were timely, inspiring, much-needed and most importantly, grounded within the Qur’an and the Sunnah (Prophetic tradition). It was a great night all around, Alhumdulillah.
But there was one glaring issue, that became immediately apparent, as soon as I entered the venue.
90% of the event comprised of women. And of those women (and men) I’d reckon that roughly 70% of the attendees were active volunteers or contributors to the NISA Helpline in some capacity or another. Moreover, a good chunk of the folks who turned up were young – somewhere between the 17-35 demographic. I could be wrong. I hope I am. But other than, say, 4-6 guys at our table, and a few male volunteers, it was just us. Other than a few aunties and a few middle-aged men, it was just us.
Now, I’ve got to be honest: I went to the event on a whim, largely because a friend of mine was also going.
To the other men, uncles, aunties and fellow community members out there who may be reading this, please pay heed to the following:
Organizations and outlets such as the NISA Helpline exist because of our collective failure to acknowledge the serious problems in communication that exist within the confines of our already fragmented and diverse Muslim community when it comes providing an open space for women to reach out and/or open up about the abuse, turmoil and hurdles they are facing.
These outlets exist because our cultures are steeped in poisonous and outdated notions and models of honour/’izzat that stifle the ability of women to speak out when they are being legitimately oppressed, when their fundamental God-given rights are being trampled upon with little objections from within the internal hierarchies of families and extended families. When ‘Liqn Loag Kya kaing gay/But what will the people say??” take precedence over *basic* moral considerations, what does that say about us?
I’ve lost count of the number of accounts I’ve been privy to firsthand of women having no recourse, no outlet, no single one person bearing wisdom or good advice to turn to when facing deep-rooted turmoil. It’s not an anomaly. It’s far more common than we’re even willing to acknowledge.
I’ve lost count of the accounts of women remaining silent so as not to undermine their familial ties and upset their family cohesion. Of being unable to connect with the often-awkward dispositions of their parents, unable to get through to them. In turn they are shunned as unjustifiably being rebellious byproducts of a hyper-individualistic culture. God-forbid that a woman has any semblance of God-given agency.
I’ve lost count of stories shared of women whose abuse is swept under the rug as a personal in-house problem – Granted, this isn’t exclusive to the Muslim community.
So it’s a damning indictment and a sad sign of us as a community when we see such little support (At least in my observations) on the ground for orgs like the Nisa Helpline.
Why is it that these venues and events attract women and strictly women? Why are ‘women’s’ issues constructed strictly as issues by women and strictly for women? Why does any semblance of introspection and serious consideration by a man get cast away as nothing more than an attempt to score brownie points, to be cast away as another ‘white knight’ liberal feminazi?
Make no bones about it. This isn’t some cheap attempt to score respectability points or Facebook cred. God alone knows my intentions. Nor am I speaking on behalf of the Nisa helpline. These thoughts are strictly my own. I’m tired of our passe attitude towards something that is so endemic, so undeniable and which the disparities are so huge as it relates to the overall culture of physical and psychological abuse towards women in Canada alone. The stats on violence against women alone are damning and the Muslim community is anything but immune to these problems.
This post has barely scratched the surface but the point is this: Our Deen demands that we become purveyors of good and the removers of evil and harm. It requires us to be outspoken, active and vocal opponents of oppression and injustice. My personal appeal is to support these local organizations which are doing an immense service for the community.
May God open our eyes and keep us firm upon the Truth.
Disclaimer: Please do not conflate this appeal with the toxic and Godless culture of social activism pervading our mainstream discourses.
Hamza is a 4th year political science student who possesses a keen interest in philosophy, religion and politics as a whole. When he’s not working or at school, he enjoys spending his free time reading, gaming and partaking in a variety of grassroots projects in his community.